Lifestyle
Powerful Ways Women Can Boost Self-Esteem
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Contributing Writer October 2, 2024
Courtney Boyer, M.S., M.Ed., CLC
Contributing Writer October 2, 2024
Strong self-esteem doesn’t just happen. It is cultivated. Here are four powerful and practical ways for women to boost their self-esteem. (Andrey Popov)
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I wish there was a switch we could flip when we are struggling to feel good about ourselves. Sadly, that has not been invented (at least not one I’m aware of; please let me know if such a device does exist). As someone who struggled with their self-esteem for years (and some days, I still do), I’ve realized the power of purposeful living.
Strong self-esteem doesn’t just happen. It is cultivated. I’ve come up with four powerful and practical ways for women to boost their self-esteem. Because who doesn’t want to feel better?
It may sound super simple, but I want you to ask yourself this question-why don’t I feel good about myself? Is it my weight? My wrinkles? My past? Then I want you to ask yourself this question: Who would I be if I accepted those parts of me?
Notice that I didn’t say love or celebrate. I said accepted. Consider asking yourself, what if I recognized those parts of me and said, “Hey, I see you.” Because at the end of the day, isn’t that what we all want? To be seen, accepted and loved? But we can’t really receive that from others if we’re not first willing to see, accept and love ourselves.
As you consider what it would be like to see, accept, and love yourself, identify the barriers that prevent you from doing that. What are the beliefs fueling those barriers (for example: I’m not good enough; I’m not lovable; It’s not safe)? The more we understand the stories we tell ourselves, the more we understand what is fueling our behavior. And the more easily we can break them down.
The more we understand the stories we tell ourselves, the more we understand what is fueling our behavior. (123rf.com)
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I’ve had the privilege of having some amazing supporters in my life. If I’m struggling with confidence in my business, I message a certain friend. If I’m lacking motivation with my health and fitness, I message another friend. If I need a pep talk for something big…you get the picture.
How did I get so blessed with an incredible support squad? By being the type of friend I was looking for. By being vulnerable, transparent, encouraging, thoughtful and loving. Like attracts like. Be the type of friend you are wanting, and you’ll be surprised at the kind of support squad you will create.
Be the type of friend you are wanting, and you’ll be surprised at the kind of support squad you will create. (123rf)
It’s so important that we pay attention to what we’re watching, listening to and even who we’re connected with. I’ve had friends who deleted social media apps from their phone because they find that it takes a heavy toll on their mental health. If you feel similar, do the same! Or limit your social media time to certain hours or days of the week. Unfollow or block any accounts (whether they’re family or celebrities) that negatively impact your self-esteem.
If the types of shows you watch also take a toll on your self-esteem, find something that’s more encouraging, inclusive and uplifting. Follow accounts and listen to podcasts that promote well-being, that make you laugh. Consume media that reminds you how beautiful this life (and you) truly are.
It’s so important that we pay attention to what we’re watching, listening to and even who we’re connected with. (123rf)
Pleasure is defined as a feeling of happy satisfaction and enjoyment. If you get to the end of your day, and nothing has brought you pleasure, then it’s likely that you don’t really believe that you deserve a pleasure-filled life.
Create a Pleasure Practice by identifying something small each day that brings you pleasure. Maybe it’s that morning cup of coffee. Maybe it’s watching the sunset. Maybe it’s taking a walk alone in the woods. In those moments, be present. Focus on how that experience made you feel, and believe that you are worthy and deserving of that moment (and all the ones to come).
Pleasure is defined as a feeling of happy satisfaction and enjoyment. (123rf)
It’s important to remember that feeling good, let alone great, about yourself doesn’t happen overnight. So many factors (quality of sleep, hormones, monthly cycle) can influence our mood and mindset. Having a strong sense of self, a solid foundation of WHO you are (an amazing human who was born for a reason), makes a massive difference.
And remember that it’s never too late to seek professional help. Talking with a therapist or coach or chaplain can really equip and empower you. I hope you know that you’re not alone in your journey. It’s ok to have joyful days and more somber ones. Neither are good or bad. It’s all part of this human experience.
Courtney Boyer, M.S., M.Ed., CLC, the author of “Not Tonight, Honey,” is a relationship and intimacy expert and life coach. Find out more about her work at www.courtneyboyercoaching.com