Man, woman and child sitting in the back area of a vehicle. ()
The idea behind “The Spouses Speak” series was to ask the same set of questions to spouses across the military branches who have been married to a military member for differing amounts of time. Stars and Stripes received 138 responses from six military branches, ranging in age from 19 to 57 years old. These spouses are currently stationed at locations all over the world with almost 20 percent being OCONUS (outside the continental U.S.). Spouses who have been married for one month through 28 years responded. Over the next few months, you’ll see topics about living in Europe, home life, the perks and joys of military life, as well as the fears and issues, plus life outside of the military.
This month we are talking about perks and issues of military life. Being in a military family can come with benefits like healthcare, educational assistance and stable income. It can also come with issues such as long separations, constant moving and ridiculous waitlists for on-base housing.
Perks
Across the branches, traveling and exploring new places was considered a major perk. Almost half of all spouses surveyed made this claim. Air Force spouse Ashley H. stated how they have, “…lived in Europe…the beach,…in the mountains… and [places they] probably would have never experienced otherwise.” Community was another perk that spouses raved about. Army Spouse Megan E. stated how, “We get to meet people from all over the world and form true unique communities. Military families make fast, deep friendships.” Other popular perks mentioned were military discounts and rates, on-base resources, pay, VA loans and G.I. Bill benefits. Coast Guard spouse Misty M. loved that they can “retain [their] state’s residency while moving around” and that “American Express (and others) waves their fees.” Air Force spouse Tiffany I. noted the feelings of pride and patriotism she has as a member of a military family, with the added perks of health insurance and “frankly that steep discount on Walt Disney World tickets.”
Issues
The biggest issue among spouses was spouse employment, with almost one fourth of spouses claiming it’s a big issue. The issue is reflected in the rate of working military spouses (58 percent) and no organization consistently tracks overseas spouse unemployment overseas spouse unemployment. Not so surprising was the fact that many spouses also had issues with separation and the service member’s work/life balance. Deployments, TDYs, field exercises and geo-bacheloring (the family and service member living in different places willingly) can mean that service members are away from their families a lot. Even when the service member is coming home every day, their work schedules can have them leaving before the sun rises and coming home after the kids are in bed and can limit the spouse’s own ability to have their time. Sometimes, the service member can be home without really being at home. Army spouse Courtney C. noted how it can seem like the service member is “never off work because of the constant calls/texts.” While they did not make the “top” part of the list, other issues brought up by spouses were changes to orders, lack of awareness about resources, lack of civilian family relatability, lack of connections or nearby family, isolation and in fifth place, childcare. Navy spouse Evie R. commented that, “Childcare can cost more than a mortgage” and that while child development centers have created a “more affordable option…the waitlist can be months or even years long.” Navy Spouse Pauline M. noticed that some of these issues could be connected: “Spouse employment and finances are tied to each other.”
Both a blessing and a curse?
Several topics made both lists. 12 percent of spouses polled enjoyed the stability that military life can bring; however, roughly 38 percent of spouses found that the biggest lifestyle issues are the instability of their children’s education or support/stability for the family as a whole. Housing was considered a top four issue, but 8 percent of spouses found housing to be a perk. Army spouse Marta R. stated that she “always appreciated that we had housing available to us;” however, there was an issue with “adequate housing.” 8 percent of spouses believed that pay was a benefit, but 6 percent believed that there were issues with pay and financial health. Another topic that had both fans and critics is healthcare. 21percent of spouses noted that healthcare was a huge perk, but 9 percent also noted that healthcare came with issues such as continuity of care, getting referrals or problems with EFMP (Exceptional Family Member Program). As you can see, while spouses loved the idea of traveling to new places and experiencing new things, moving to these new places can be a hassle. Space Force spouse SJ noted that, “while moving is quite a hassle, the diversity of places you get to live is extraordinary.”
Whether it is those sweet theme park discounts, healthcare or the year-long wait for housing, military life comes with perks and issues. Next month, “The Spouses Speak” will talk about what excites and scares spouses about the military lifestyle.
