Kid with puppy and cat ()
The idea behind “The Spouses Speak” series was to ask the same set of questions to spouses across all the military branches who have been married to a military member for differing amounts of time. Stars and Stripes received 138 responses from six military branches, ranging in age from 19-years-old to 57-years-old. These spouses are currently stationed at locations all over the world with almost 20% being OCONUS (outside the continental U.S.). Spouses who have only been a spouse for one month through 28 years responded. Over the next few months, you’ll see topics about living in Europe, home life, perks and joys of military life, fear and issues of military life and life outside of the military.
This month we are focusing on life at home. It is all about work, kids, pets, education and volunteering. Living the military life can mean that families move around—a lot—and also that the service member may be away from the home for a considerable amount of time. This can impact a family’s decision to have pets or children. It can also impact if/where a military spouse can go to school or the spouse’s job prospects and overall career.
Volunteering, kids and pets. | Graph by Tamala Malerk
Education: Between MYCAA, scholarships, GI Bills, online programs and other benefits, many spouses choose to pursue some form of education. Army spouse Emily S. earned Bachelor’s and Master’s degrees while she stayed home with her kids. However, the constant moving can wreak havoc on programs that do not allow for remote work. Navy spouse Rachel C. stated that she “had to drop out of an academic program because of a PCS.”
Work: Establishing and maintaining a career as a military spouse can definitely be a challenge. Some spouses work in careers that move with them, such as Marine Corps spouse Priscilla M. who stated, “I’m a music teacher, my job is easily transferable, so I don’t have issues moving with my job.” Some spouses go the entrepreneurial route such as Army spouse Jennifer S. who said, “I have my own photography business, not really a decision to do with the military but having my own business is great because I can take it wherever we PCS to.” Many spouses also utilize networking and other tools available to them each time they PCS. Army spouse Bianca L. mentioned, “I made a LinkedIn account and I connected with other spouses. I think that networking as a military family is very important.” For more information on free LinkedIn Premium for military spouses, click here. While many spouses find success in the workforce, some can’t find work or do not feel fulfilled in what they end up doing. According to the 2021 Blue Star Families Survey, 63% of military spouses are underemployed. It took Air Force spouse Lisa H. decades to find something she considers a career. She expressed, “I have worked ‘jobs’ for the past 24 years but nothing resembling a ‘career’ until now.”
Volunteer: Volunteering is a great way to give back to the community, get out of the house and meet people, and it can be a great way to add to your resume if you’ve moved somewhere that the job prospects are not promising. Air Force spouse Pauline O. wanted to help other military families. She noted that “being a military family, we know firsthand their challenges and we want to be positive leaders and role models so we give back and help as much as we can,” and Air Force spouse Ashley H. described how volunteering “keeps me busy and gives me a sense of purpose.”
Kids: Having children is a huge decision no matter what kind of field someone works in. However, being in a military family can make that decision even more difficult to make. There are a lot of things to consider with the frequent PCSing, deployments and the potential of living away from extended family and other beneficial resources. Both Navy spouse Niquela B. and Navy Reserve spouse Kate R. took deployments into consideration when it came to family planning. Katie R. stated how they “scheduled our kids to come between deployments.” Army spouse Claire C. recalled how hard it can be on dual-military families by stating how they avoided having kids when she was in the service because “childcare opens at 6:30 am and PT is at 6.” Some families did not let the military affect their family planning no matter how hard the impact may have been. Army spouse Kimberly M. shared, “We value being able to experience different states/cultures and want to instill that love of traveling to our kids.”
Pets: Whether it be a cuddly dog, a grumpy cat, a group of guinea pigs or an aquarium of fish, pets can add so much to a family. Pets can also be a huge responsibility not only with taking care of them but ensuring that they can move with you. Space Force spouse Sheila R. laments how the military has impacted their decision to get another dog: “Our moves and frequent TDYs will keep us from getting another dog. Boarding and moving with him is just too hard.” Navy spouse KaDee F. also noted how restrictive the military can make pet ownership by stating, “when we could get animals, what kind, how many … every decision is determined based off PCSing. (Housing, location, moving costs, overseas restrictions, etc.).” Nonetheless, some spouses didn’t let things like breed and the number of animals allowed on-base stand in their way. Army spouse Aspen L. proclaimed, “We have 5 dogs and 2 cats, no kids. We made it a point to not let being a military family impact our decision.”
The military has a lot of say of where families live and how long they are there. The military also controls how often a service member is home. This lifestyle can have a huge impact on a spouse’s education, job or a family’s decision to have kids or pets, whether it be positive or negative. Next month “The Spouses Speak” will look at the perks and issues of military family life.
