Two school kid boys in safety helmets riding with bike in the city with backpacks. (romrodinka (123RF))
It’s still summer break and you are starting to set your eyes on the first day of the new school year.
Excitement and even nervousness may set in. You may wonder where your classrooms are. What will your teachers be like? How about after-school activities? If you just moved, how will you make new friends? What will your peers be like?
As a fellow military kid, those are questions I also asked myself many times. You may call me a subject matter expert - a term you have probably heard before in the military community. I have had more addresses than I can count on both hands, which can easily happen when you grow up in seven U.S. states and three countries.
Change is inevitable as a military child. It brings a mixture of emotions: sadness about leaving friends and your old routines, excitement for new opportunities, fears that you may not connect with anyone at your new duty station, and appreciation for those who have done it before.
The best advice I have for other military children is …
Get involved.
Participate in activities such as Model UN, Junior Science and Humanities Symposium, or any other clubs, sports and music activities that allow you to travel. Take it all in. Do activities you love. Meet others who are like-minded. Connect with them. You will probably bump into them in the future, especially in DoDEA.
Being involved in an organization gives you an immediate connection if it is present in your new community. You already have common interests with a group of people, which makes kickstarting your social life again much easier. This will give you a strengthened sense of community and you can begin to meet more and different people.
Stay in touch.
If your parents allow it, use an app such as Instagram or WhatsApp to keep in touch with your friends. Your addresses and phone numbers will change, but these apps can be a great tool in your toolbox.
In addition, Instagram is a great way to network at events. Almost everyone has an account and it’s a nice way to stay connected with people you met at activities.
Take Advantage of Opportunities.
I know it’s annoying hearing others console you about moving so much by saying that you get a lot of experiences, but there is truth to it. At every duty station, try to visit the prominent attractions (even out of season). This especially applies to people overseas: Go explore the world.
Take advantage of the opportunities that arise with each move and learn something new about a culture, language, area and maybe even yourself. You can tie this in with previous advice about getting involved. Groups such as the Scouts will occasionally camp out in different regions and tour historical areas. Take advantage of this!
Invest in Yourself.
It’s tough being a military kid. I have had 10+ addresses and lived in multiple countries throughout my time as a military brat. This has taken a toll on my family and my mental health. Take time to invest in yourself and build upon skills that you can carry through each move. This will make sure that you always have something to fall back on during hard times.
Try to find an outlet for your stress. For example, I enjoy embroidery. It is a relatively inexpensive hobby. I can take all of the materials I need for a project with me in a small bag, so it’s great for military kids on the move. Taking up embroidery has given me peace of mind. While I’m working with my hands, I’m also establishing peace of mind. It’s a way to get out of my head and simply enjoy something for a while. Additionally, when I finish a project, I have something beautiful to display for my efforts. If I’m missing friends, I’ll make something for them, so embroidery is yet another way I stay connected. Other outlets include playing video games with friends, reading, sewing, drawing or academics.
Ground yourself.
This is bit similar to investing in yourself but with a focus on avoiding anxiety – something that can become overwhelming considering our lifestyle. We will always be facing the unknown. So, try to find something to ground yourself with, something that can root you. This way you will not get lost in anxiety or any spiraling thoughts that may become unhealthy.
Maybe yoga is the way to go for you. For me, it’s my cello. It provides me with calm and stability even when so many things change and so many things in the future are unknown, such as where I may go to school in a few months or which continent I will live on. I’ve always been able to find a community with my musical interests and that has helped me to be able to find myself.
Get Out.
Walk. Breathe some fresh air. Ride your bike. Do something if you feel stuck. I realize this may not be an option for some, but if you are feeling stuck and alone right after a move, get out. Force yourself to take a walk around your new neighborhood, take in your surroundings and clear your head a bit. This may ease some anxieties you have about starting somewhere fresh as you start to familiarize yourself with your new environment.
If you have no idea where to go - go geocaching! Geocaching is a great way to get out with a purpose and a goal that can be accomplished.
In the same vein, don’t isolate yourself at school. Talk to people, even if it seems scary. A lot of other kids are friendlier and more open to making new friendships. You might think: “What’s the point? I’ll just move anyway.” Thoughts like these are self-destructive, there is always a point, but that is up to you to find. The purpose could just be for the sake of it, so why bring yourself down? For me it’s important to make new friends because I know that I’ll make good memories with them, and it ensures that I live life to its fullest with no regrets. I also know that I’ll keep in touch with my friends via social media and I can always preserve those memories with pictures, scrapbooking and/or journaling.
About the Author:
Anna Galeano is a military child. She is an outdoor enthusiast with a knack for STEM research. As the 2023 USAG Stuttgart Military Youth of the Year and top five finalists of the 2024 Military Child of the Year (Army), Anna is an active community member focusing on volunteering for the Transatlantic Council of the Boy Scouts of America, interning at the United States European Command in USAG Stuttgart, and conducting research as part of Clemson University’s Team Research Analytics in Computational Environments research group.
