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Stars and Stripes Europe reached out to military spouses to get their thoughts about several topics impacting military life. We received 100 responses from the spouses of six military branches, active duty and reserve, who have been dependents from just a few months to more than 20 years.

These spouses are currently stationed at locations all over the world, with 40 percent being OCONUS (outside the continental U.S.).

In the month of Halloween, which is all about tricks and treats, joys and scares, it seemed appropriate to look at the different excitements and fears of military life. From travels to TDYs, moving, retirement and more, there are so many things that make military life both scary and exciting.

What is so exciting about military life?

What is most exciting ()

There are many gripes about military life; however, there are so many unique opportunities that can make life exciting. The majority of spouses felt that traveling and new experiences were the most exciting parts of military life. Army spouse Allison F. loves the ability to travel in Europe: “We currently live in Germany. Where we’re at it is so easy to travel. Since moving here a year ago, we’ve traveled to 14 countries.”

Army spouse Elizabeth P. elaborates on how all the new experiences impact her life in good ways: “…I love exploring the new places and getting to experience the different seasons it has to offer. I enjoy each move as a chance to purge and start a fresh space. I enjoy creating a bucket list way before we arrive... the hope is to visit all the neat places that [new] State has to offer.”

Some spouses couldn’t pick just one thing that excited them the most. Army spouse, Savannah C. claimed that there was a combination of things that made military life exciting for her: “I grew up in a very very small coal mining town in Rural Appalachia. That was my scope of the world. It’s normal for people to stay for their entire lives and live in that comfortable bubble. While there are aggravating things that come from being “married to the military”, being able to see the world and experience new things will always be one of the best things. Every place is a new adventure, a new opportunity, a new village of friends.”

What is so scary about military life?

What is scary ()

Traveling and experiencing new things can be very exciting; but, as many people know, military life isn’t always exciting. Sometimes, it can be downright scary. While there were clear “winners” in the excitement category, answers were murkier in terms of what scared spouses the most. 23 percent of spouses were scared about their career and/or employment opportunities. Navy spouse Elizabeth F. described how “My career had to be put on hold when I married my sailor. I had career hopes and aspirations, but 4 moves in 2 years and I’m still at the same spot, if not behind in my career.”

Separation is also part of military life. There is an older saying that goes something like “If the army wanted you to have a wife, they would have issued you one.” 13 percent of spouses responded that long separations like TDYs and deployments scare or worry them most about military life. Air Force Reserves spouse Julie C. noted “My spouse is my best friend and a very active part of our children’s lives, our community, and our church. His absence is hard.”

The effects that military life can have on children was another topic that worried spouses. Air Force spouse Josephine R. talked about how childcare and activities can vary by duty station: “The quality of daycares, CDCs, SACs, schools, extracurricular activities vary per station based on funding, staffing (quality and quantity), and more. My children already uproot their lives every few years and never know if they will be behind at the next school, if their sport will be available, etc. and I worry about the quality of care my children will receive and their mental health if any of the above are low quality or unavailable on top of leaving their family, friends, teams, pretty much their whole life behind with each PCS.”

There are ups and downs to military life and spouses were not shy about sharing those with us. Join us next month when we talk about military bases.

The views and opinions expressed in the article do not necessarily reflect those of the employees of Stars and Stripes.